I often don't know where I am.
There...I said it.
Every frequent traveler has been there. You're sitting on a tropical beach, feeling more relaxed than you ever have. A beer in one hand, a margarita in the other. You're on vacation, why not? The sound of the gently rolling waves adds to the relaxed atmosphere. All of a sudden your beer bottle begins ringing. "Hold on, I should probably get that" you say to your wife.
"Good morning, its a wonderful day at the (insert big name hotel brand here)...today's high temperature is 3 with a 100% chance of *click*"
Crap...I have to work today.
You rub your eyes while trying to make sense of the strange red lines on the alarm clock on your nightstand. It reads something close to the time at which you are supposed to meet your crew downstairs for the van ride to the airport. Despite not being completely awake, you decide it would be most socially acceptable for you to shower before heading to work.
You hop out of bed and the shock of the cold hits you like a train. Your feet hit the ground and automatically start off to where they think the bathroom is located. Instead of finding the bathroom you walk into a solid wall...stub your toe on a suitcase...maybe trip over your pair of shoes. It seems your feet think they're in a different hotel room than you.
Realizing you have no idea where you are, you stop moving to avoid further destruction (of both you and your hotel room). Not only do you not know where in your hotel room you are. But honestly you aren't entirely sure which city or state you just spent the night in. This is what I call being "locationally challenged".
I start 3 days per week this way. As a creature of habit, it takes a while to learn a few tricks of the trade to help ensure self preservation.
1) The reason the hotel address is printed on the phone is so you can very quickly learn where you are after you hang up from your wakeup call...if you actually receive it.
2) Somewhere in the room there is a dim light. Turn this on before you go to bed. At worst it keeps you from stubbing your toes during a middle of the night trip to the bathroom. At best it will keep people from looking suspiciously at your wife while they ask you about your black eye (look, sometimes she has to tell me things twice).
These two tips will help you have a much safer and efficient stay the next time you are in a hotel. That or I suppose you could wear a helmet.
